Where is Uganda?

Northern Uganda. The war is over. The guns are quiet now. More than 35.000 child soldiers dreamed of this moment. But for some children, the present is very different from the dream. They show no outward signs, yet they are wounded. Nuru is one of them. She’s the casualty of the human spirit. With post-traumatic stress disorder, Nuru remains in psychological shock. Her trust in the world will not be regained. She has reached her mind’s limits. Hence the film’s title: AT THE MIND’S LIMITS. If Nuru does not get help, she will be re-experiencing the war until the day she dies. Now, who is Nuru? According to Dr. James Okello and Dr. Paul Aluma, who supervised the filming of this project, about twelve years ago Nuru was abducted from her village in northern Uganda by the Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA) under the leadership of Joseph Kony, a war criminal. Nuru was molded into a child soldier. She fought in northern Uganda, South Sudan and in the Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC). In late 2012, Nuru managed to escape and reached Gulu, the largest city in northern Uganda, together with her baby that died a few days later. Her entire family has been killed in the civil war that ravaged northern Uganda from 1987 to 2007. Today the rebel army operates in the DRC. It does not matter, however, what political content there is when you have children fighting in a war. Politically dogmatic cinema is not something I subscribe to. Child soldiers are such a tragedy that you do not need every single detail of the conflict. What’s key and of great consequence to the individual and his or her society is this: Nuru has no more concept of the world, nor of speech or even of what the sky or a tree looked like. She seems to have no notion of anything whatsoever. The war made out of Nuru, in the most purest sense, a being without culture, language and civilization, an almost primeval human being. As she has suffered greatly from her contact with people and society while being part of the LRA. The war has totally destroyed even the most basic functions within her, including the desire to take care of herself. To me, however, Nuru is not insane, but rather a saint like Joan of Arc, something that I feel comes out in her presence in front of the camera. While watching Nuru and experiencing her pain, the real question arises: What happens to a person who has been destroyed by war? What does this person feel? What does Nuru see? What must a tree or the sky look like to Nuru today, in her imaginary world? And how will Nuru be treated by us, by the society that is responsible for her fate? By society I address the International Community as well, the world that ignored the conflict in northern Uganda for decades. Nuru’s personal destiny speaks to all of us and that is why AT THE MIND’S LIMITS only has five cuts. It’s a personal testimony. A confession in the truest sense, so to speak. Pure and simple. Nuru’s story is so strong that one does not need to be distracted by editorial gimmicks or enhancements. The main shot seems to be held for an unusually long time. I felt it was important to hold this image because I want the audience to sympathize with Nuru by showing her respect and granting her undivided and undistracted attention. After all, she spent twelve years in the bush and the jungle. The least we can do is to dedicate and devote a few minutes of our time to her. To experience her isolation. Even though at times others walk through the frame only leaving a shadow on Nuru’s face behind. Real contact does not exist. In Nuru’s world there is no space for someone else. They are all invisible to her. Nuru lives in solitary confinement. Deprived of almost all human contact, she has lost her feeling of connectedness to the world. Nuru lives entirely in her head, for there is nothing else. Without the mutual trust quickly established between Nuru and myself I would not have stood a chance to make AT THE MIND’S LIMITS. I would, for instance, hold Nuru’s wrist a lot, not her hand, just her wrist. She kind of liked that, and we forged a bond. Nuru’s movements were slow and deliberate and almost seemed rehearsed. With a profound poetic quality to it. As is she was afraid to make mistakes for which she then would be punished. I sensed a constant state of fear. Unless I had my fingers at her pulse. Then she was calm, at ease. Yet, I can only describe her movements as being beautiful and, yes, graceful, dignified. Sometimes she was very unruly and would rant about the injustices of the world. But not everything needs to be recorded on film, I told her. That would be voyeurism, which I always steer against in my work. I spent more than a week with Nuru. From sunrise to sunset. AT THE MIND’S LIMITS is her monument, the monument of the unknown soldier of cinema, if you will. To me Nuru is a fusion of Joan of Arc and Gian Lorenzo Bernini’s sculpture Madonna with Child, especially when Nuru, towards the end of the film, moves close into the camera and reaches out to us. She offers us her throat as if she wanted to sacrifice herself and were to say: “Take me and not my child, please, I beg you!” In vain, of course, because her only child is dead. Can a person lose anything more important in life? Through all the hardship Nuru went through she gave life. And this, too, was taken from her. The music used in AT THE MIND’S LIMITS also plays an important part. It’s a classical piece by Billy Joel: Soliloquy, Opus 1, On a Separation. Technically the images remain unchanged when this particular music is placed behind them. The composition reveals the inner quality of the scene to the spectator. Therefore, it is not necessary to change the perspective or the image itself. I wanted to use music to show how Nuru re-experiences her former life in front of our eyes, her personal awakening from her almost catatonic state. We are not only watching a human being, but also an inner landscape. This, considering the subject child soldiers, is new and novel and has not been done before. On the contrary. Usually child soldiers are portrayed as killing machines and not as human beings. For some people my filming a young woman like Nuru might simply be too far out of the ordinary. While working with Nuru, however, she was very aware that the film was just as much about her as it was about how society had destroyed her. I am very certain of this. What can I say about this other than I know that Nuru and I did a good thing: There are an estimated 300.000 active child soldiers around the world. Ten per cent of all war veterans, US soldiers returning from the war in Iraq for example, suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder. AT THE MIND’S LIMITS shows that there’s a war after the war. The inner war. With no real enemy in sight. Except oneself. To me, Nuru’s place in history is assured. AT THE MIND’S LIMITS A film by S.C. Weiss Executive Producer: S.C. Weiss Producers: Berit Becker, Geritt Hahn, Christine Akello Camera: S.C. Weiss Editor: S.C. Weiss Music: Billy Joel, Soliloquy, Opus 1, On a Separation Medical Supervisors: Dr. James Okello and Dr. Paul Aluma Postproduction: Kololo Films International Length: 13.38 minutes (color, HD video) The production of this film was supported by the Foreign Office of the Federal Republic of Germany.

Some images from northern Uganda.

Christine 2012. We know each other since 2003. In 2006 I published the book The Girl and the War. It's her biography. This year, 2012, the sequel will follow.

Gulu 2012

Christine, her daughter Mercy and me.

Summer 2010